A Creepypasta Parody I Freestyled

I was never really the type to call attention to myself. Or call things in to the police. I’d lived in the city all my life, odd sights and sounds were normal to me. One night I was walking home, because I believed in being eco-friendly and walking where ever I could. There was a cinder wall on the right of me, a lot that had been walled off for something. As I walked by I could hear muffled voices.

I didn’t pry.

I figured maybe they were two lovebirds getting it on. But no matter how far down the wall I walked the voices never seemed to get more distant. As I walked away from the lot, I could swear I heard a loud, angry “Tsk” coming from behind me, but I ignored it.

When I got home my apartment was dark, only lit from below with the streetlights filtering through the blinds. At first everything seemed normal as I stepped inside. Then once I locked the door I saw something on the far wall move. Two towering figures were bent over against the ceiling, deathly white from head to toe save for their ragged black hair and empty voids of eyes.

I was frozen in fear as they approached me, monstrously long hands grabbing at my shoulders, forcing me to stare at their mockeries of the human form. Finally they opened their wide, twisted maws and spoke with voices that sounded like words formed out of shrieking, wrenching metal.

“REPORT SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD TO THE POLICE!”

“IT’S UP TO ALL OF US TO KEEP OUR STREETS SAFE.”

Then they spoke together, their voices forming a horrible cacophony: “THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM YOUR LANDLORDS AND LOCAL POLICE DEPARTMENT.”

I fainted. When I came to it was morning, and I woke up slumped against the door. At first I thought maybe I had too much to drink, or indigestion, or both. But then when I stepped in front of a mirror I saw all across my shoulders and face these ashen grey outlines of horrifically large, bony hands.

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